This is old, but I doubt any of you have read it, so I'll post. I damn near died laughing from it.

Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt

TEL AVIV -- (Reuters) An Israeli woman's fight with a stubborn cockroach put her husband in the hospital with burns, a broken pelvis and broken ribs, the Jerusalem Post newspaper reported yesterday.

The woman, frightened by the insect when she found it in their living room, stepped on it, threw it in a toilet and sprayed a full can of insecticide on it when it refused to die.

Her husband came home from work, went to the toilet and lit a cigarette. When he threw the cigarette butt into the bowl, the insecticide fumes ignited, "seriously burning his sensitive parts," the Post wrote.

When paramedics were called to the home in Tel Aviv, they laughed so hard when they learned what had happened that they dropped the stretcher down the stairs, breaking the unidentified man's pelvis and ribs.

What was I doing last night around 5 am? http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/

You input text, and it uses Babelfish to translate back and forth to English through many different languages. Once it's all said and done, the text reads absolutely nothing like it originally did. Let me give you a few examples.

Original English Text:
Watch the text go from standard english to French, German, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish, then back again. It's like walking into a room of KJs and trying to join the conversation.

Translated back to English:
If he is English-French, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish the end still observed the text to give return to the German standard, then. It is like operation in a space of KJs and the test the end to connect the argument.

Original English Text:
Back up in your ass with the Reurection
Is the group harder than an erection
That shows more affection
They wanna ban us on Capitol Hill
Cause its die muthafuckas, die muthafuckas still

All along it was the geto, nothing but the geto
Takin short steps one foot at a time and keep my head low
And never let go
cause if I let go, then I'll be spineless
I'm goin' INSANE!

I think my mind just goes outta control
And judge your subjects muthafuckas read about
I touch on the shit that they be leavin' out
I seen this muthafucka's .9 smokin'
I seen the same nigga with the .9 die with his eyes open
And simply what this means is
He didn't know that every dog had his day
Until he seen his
I bet you muthafuckas will too
Because its die muthafucka, die muthafucka still fool

Die muthafuckas, die muthafuckas still fool
Die muthafuckas, die muthafuckas still

Translated back to English:
The copy of the deposit in its donkey with Reurection is strong the group like the structure, of that not he extension more inclination, of than it would always wish in the prohibition in the cause of her to them assembly of capitol of her muthafuckas to the vector, muthafuckas the vector, that was all the length of geto him, qualche.cosa, but it is made briefly of Takin of the geto on the simultaneous foot and one more a lower majority and the cause of the surface of the mine of Unterhaelte never is going to go, if I to leave the end for going, is therefore eddyless is goin CLEARED '! Task that my instruction of the alcohol goes to the subjects chose to judges approximately you, of who tact in excrement of right of outta and of him muthafuckas, that smokin ' 9 of leavin of him is external they ' who he muthafucka, which nigga with the vector is seen in the consideration equal the one that relati opened eyes estêve to you of the 9 with and which the this ways is simple, of that did not know that each dog had the day relative he to him, in the consideration of the relative the I, muthafuckas of appositive too much very very of relative demands of vector of muthafucka, muthafuckas of Mourez of the vector, muthafuckas of muthafucka the vector would always fill for above always always muthafuckas the vector, muthafuckas these the preg-reprobaciones of the vector.

Now, if you read all of that, I don't know whether to congratulate you or to never speak with you again. Irregardless, you can put just about as much text as you want into there, so long as you're willing to wait for it to translate. This is further proof that Babelfish is the worst translator site in existence. The only thing it's good for is translating single words. Even simple phrases such as "How are you?" oftentimes turn into "Hold the onions".

This weekend was full of surprises. On friday night I went with some of my friends to shoot for Brandon's movie he's working on. I have no idea what the title is, and I haven't even read the script, but my expertise is acting, and I'll be damned if I don't make good use of it. I also play guitar, very well. Someday I'll form a band and tour the countryside. You won't be invited.

Once we got to the place at which we were planning on filming, we had to do a lot of preparations. That included getting all of the stuff set up, getting into our costumes, testing the props, etc. Once all that was finished, we started rolling film. After we shot what we needed, we decided to head on over to the next site. Before we could get in our cars, he said that he was just going to call it a night. He sounded pretty disappointed about the whole ordeal, but I think that's only because he thought he let everybody down. That's really not the case at all. It was still a fun time for all, even if cut short.

After we reunited in the Wal-Mart parking lot to get our designated cars, some of us went to Applebees. Labaki and I got samplers, which is quite possibly the goddamn biggest meal EVER. It had just about everything in the damn restaurant. It didn't bother me, but apparently good ol' Labaki was shitting sparks come 5 o'clock in the morning.

Yesterday we went to see Bad News Bears, which was a damn funny movie. I reccommend it to everyone, especially fans of Bad Santa. Although he's not nearly as bad as he was on Bad Santa, Billy Bob still cracks the verbal whip quite a few times. More than enough to make the movie worth watching. After the movie we ate at Long John Silver's. That's quite possibly one of the greatest fast food restaurants ever conceived, let alone actually established.

We left there, and Dan, Bryan, and Joel came and stayed last night. We watched Dan play a few games, then Bryan and I proceeded to play Halo for the whole night. I was on a streak, so I couldn't exactly stop playing. You need to take Halo streaks when you can get them, because once you get to the level I'm at, you pretty much get your ass beat no matter what map, what weapon setting, or what mode you're partaking in.

Today sucked pretty bad. The end.